Usually...A person interrupting something important will continue to do this if you give them the attention, reaction & the credibility. You may end up being stuck with this Person everyone that else is ignoring, and even worse - be associated with being like them!
You may have walked into someone that has some delusional
axe to grind that they never resolved on the playground in school &
you aren’t psychic enough to work through, and aren’t responsible for
going through with this person. You
don’t want to be stuck with someone trying to BLAME you that for a problem
YOU didn’t create & have nothing to do with.
Not “getting” anything out of your own life, and
looking for people to Blame for it that have nothing to do with it
because they are not even involved, they are not psychic & you aren’t Communicating 2 ways, and aren’t responsible for it because YOU don’t
play any role in THEIR lives & your don’t care what happens to THEM either. You wouldn’t do the SAME for them,
& you even make it OBVIOUS that you wouldn't!
Even if this person that you have decided to “include” in
your issues & complexes COULD & were WILLING to support you in some way ~ you would not appreciate it or respect anything ABOUT this support they would
be wasting their efforts to try to help improve anything for you.
This means that you need to get your support from someone ELSE that you can have respect for and appreciate it, and then be influenced enough to listen to their advice & LEARN from enough & help yourself move forward.
This means that you need to get your support from someone ELSE that you can have respect for and appreciate it, and then be influenced enough to listen to their advice & LEARN from enough & help yourself move forward.
You don’t even want to play a part in the SOLUTION to your own
“problem”, which makes it impossible for the other person to care ~ if you
don’t even care about your own problem enough to play a role in your own
solution. It is not sure as to how
you could justify attaching anything on a personal level to this "person", or take anything
personally ABOUT "them".
When you don’t care enough about your own life to even play
the roles required in all of the areas of your life, or to DO
what is required to Achieve things or Accomplish things, that is an Attitude of ~
“Live my Life FOR me”, which suggests to me that you needed to - STAY with your Parents, or you need living assistance (which can only be provided by an outside party such as the Government or a Non-Profit Organization).
“Live my Life FOR me”, which suggests to me that you needed to - STAY with your Parents, or you need living assistance (which can only be provided by an outside party such as the Government or a Non-Profit Organization).
Most People with Human Decency are willing to refer & direct you if that is the case,
but are not willing or capable of LIVING someone else’s life FOR them.
There are levels of Closeness & Involvement that range anywhere from Acquaintance - to Friend - to Spouse that are mutually UNDERSTOOD & ACCEPTED because they do play a role in each other's lives.
Obviously, If you do not spend time WITH a Person - or play a ROLE in a person's LIFE, you are not apart of this person's PERSONAL life.
Everyone is responsible for making the effort in Doing what they are supposed to be doing and for playing their own Personal, Social & Professional Roles.
It is only possible to be APART of someone else's life on the level mutually understood possible.
People MERGE Lives only when they GET MARRIED. No one is going to view another person's life as "being" APART of their lives the same way as a BEST FRIEND, a FAMILY MEMBER or a SPOUSE.
Personally, I would file a report, contact family members, or friends & acquaintances or someone that CAN do something about it ~ just for insulting my intelligence & doing it ON PURPOSE, just to get out of caring about anything, doing what YOU'RE supposed to be doing, and doing what is required ~ and then having the NERVE to BLAME other people on TOP of all of it.
My experience is that People that genuinely need something on any level ask & appreciate it, care enough ABOUT their own situation to play the role in the solution; And in turn, people are happy to help you BECAUSE of this reason.
There are levels of Closeness & Involvement that range anywhere from Acquaintance - to Friend - to Spouse that are mutually UNDERSTOOD & ACCEPTED because they do play a role in each other's lives.
Obviously, If you do not spend time WITH a Person - or play a ROLE in a person's LIFE, you are not apart of this person's PERSONAL life.
Everyone is responsible for making the effort in Doing what they are supposed to be doing and for playing their own Personal, Social & Professional Roles.
It is only possible to be APART of someone else's life on the level mutually understood possible.
People MERGE Lives only when they GET MARRIED. No one is going to view another person's life as "being" APART of their lives the same way as a BEST FRIEND, a FAMILY MEMBER or a SPOUSE.
Personally, I would file a report, contact family members, or friends & acquaintances or someone that CAN do something about it ~ just for insulting my intelligence & doing it ON PURPOSE, just to get out of caring about anything, doing what YOU'RE supposed to be doing, and doing what is required ~ and then having the NERVE to BLAME other people on TOP of all of it.
My experience is that People that genuinely need something on any level ask & appreciate it, care enough ABOUT their own situation to play the role in the solution; And in turn, people are happy to help you BECAUSE of this reason.
It is not Normal for someone to walk around attaching obligation & blame to other people that aren’t involved. It isn't Normal to expect others to walk around in Fear.
People need to FIND OUT how much they mutually care about EACH OTHER, what level of Interaction is possible, what level of Involvement is possible, and mutually UNDERSTAND & ACCEPT it. Only then can you trust each other, know what to expect and to what degree.
When people are genuinely interested in each other they usually EXPRESS an interest on some level, and relationships happen NATURALLY. When people mutually ENJOY each other's company it is not hard to get to know each other and MAKE time important, and decide what level of involvement and how much of a part of someone else's life that you become. And it takes mutual effort to be APART of someone's life AND to STAY apart of someone's life or to keep in TOUCH with them. .
Example: You are not usually capable of going our for a beer with your average acquaintance, mail carrier or neighbor unless a closer level of familiarity, comfort and mutual enjoyment of each other's company is cultivated first!
It isn’t Normal to expect every single person to CARE about your life… when you don't care about your OWN LIFE, anything IN it, OR anyone else's life.
When people are genuinely interested in each other they usually EXPRESS an interest on some level, and relationships happen NATURALLY. When people mutually ENJOY each other's company it is not hard to get to know each other and MAKE time important, and decide what level of involvement and how much of a part of someone else's life that you become. And it takes mutual effort to be APART of someone's life AND to STAY apart of someone's life or to keep in TOUCH with them. .
Example: You are not usually capable of going our for a beer with your average acquaintance, mail carrier or neighbor unless a closer level of familiarity, comfort and mutual enjoyment of each other's company is cultivated first!
It isn’t Normal to expect every single person to CARE about your life… when you don't care about your OWN LIFE, anything IN it, OR anyone else's life.
You don’t care enough about playing your OWN ROLES required, the roles required to maintain your own Relationships, or do what is required in doing what you’re supposed to be doing in your life NOW, in your own FUTURE & what’s required to Accomplish or Achieve what you want ~ or to make the CHANGES necessary to make your life the way that you want it, or to even maintain your current lifestyle.
Nothing happens without you caring about all of the roles
required in what you are supposed to be doing, and you need to expect nothing less
from everyone else - They also need to be
doing what THEY are supposed to be doing, doing what is required & playing
their own roles in their lives.
If help & support are NEEDED people need
to ASK and APPRECIATE it & CARE enough to PLAY the roles involved, and not pose a THREAT to the person willing to help them.
If you do not play a role in someone else’s
life, you delusional to take this person’s life personally
(usually, unbeknownst to this individual).
“INVOLVEMENT” means that you have actually
PLAYED some mutual personal role in a part someone’s life – you are APART of this person’s
life. You have spent time WITH THIS
PERSON and you have a MUTUAL understanding that you ARE INVOLVED with this
person in some way.
When YOU DON’T CARE about someone, and are not
apart of their lives, you are not even genuinely interested in this person,
they are not capable of BEING in your
life or caring about you on a personal level.
You have no reason to interfere with, or take someone's life THAT personally that you are not personally involved with.
You have no reason to interfere with, or take someone's life THAT personally that you are not personally involved with.
What IS possible at this point is ~ Social Tolerance, Human Decency, being an Acquaintance, Social Conscience. I would definitely appreciate it, or even THIS much is not going to be available for you...
When you wear out the tolerance it is VERY DIFFICULT for others to have the PATIENCE within Human Limits. Other people do NOT KNOW what your problem is, and if you don’t care enough to do what’s required, no one else is capable of caring.
There isn’t a solution, they will file a Complaint. Those are the FACTS.
People need to ASK & APPRECIATE Advice
(Constructive Criticism), Support & Concern.
You “get more from” people when you
APPRECIATE “more from” people that take time out of their complicated lives to
give you undivided attention.
No one should walk around feeling
pressured, guilty, or walk around in FEAR of things. There should always be an explanation, a solution and a healthier
direction. It isn’t benefiting anyone to stay
in Mental Slavery assuming everyone else thinks the same way, or just "knows" what is wrong with you.
People waste people's time all the Time, but when it INTERFERES with someone else's personal life and they clearly do not BELONG ~ that is when it becomes a serious issue.
What may be necessary for others to become more resilient in abusive or abrasive conflict with others is:
Assertiveness Training -to feel more confident in doing what you're supposed to be doing, in communicating effectively & being able to handle agreements & disagreements without being defensive or losing your objective thinking process,
Anger Management -to be capable of handling stress without losing control or direction in life, venting frustration without becoming unbalanced.
Self Defense -to allow you to avoid walking around with phobia or fear of not being able to defend yourself whenever necessary, what to DO in most cases, and be capable of differentiating a THREAT from a NON-THREAT, and when to use DEADLY FORCE.
To prevent freezing up and allowing things to "happen" to you that should not even be happening. You are in most of the CONTROL of what you decide is comfortable you. No one "else' is capable of telling you what YOU what YOU feel comfortable with or what is acceptable to you on a personal level. There shouldn't be pressure put onto someone else in that area- this indicates a CONTROL problem, & should definitely send up a Red Flag.
I need an Explanation for your Sense of Urgency concerning ANYTHING that makes me feel personally uncomfortable.
My feelings are as important to ME ~ as your feelings are to YOU.
I put my feelings FIRST before YOURS ~ just as YOU do as well.
An Objective Thinking Person can distinguish between:
A person that CARES - from a person that only cares about what they can get from you.
They know the difference between a person that cares ABOUT YOU, and not only about MANIPULATION.
They know the difference between someone that likes to see you going in a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER DIRECTION
People that CARE want SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS, they aren't making your problems WORSE, and they care about your FEELINGS
They have a level have a level of SENSITIVITY & RESPECT FOR YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES & YOUR FEELINGS - not just only about GETTING A RISE OUT OF YOU, a REACTION
Not about COMPARING YOUR PROBLEMS TO THEIRS to make themselves look BETTER than you. As if this is their Snowball's Chance at "seeming" like a better person to take less work involved in actually "being" one (which would have only required actually doing something or being something instead of the maintenance involved and the other props needed in "seeming").
These are ABUSIVE Relationships. You need to be ASSERTIVE and unafraid to put your life & your feelings FIRST! We all encounter them every day. People choose the level of involvement possible with others. No one is obligated to be someone's friend that isn't even caring ABOUT you and isn't playing a personal ROLE in your life.
When there is an interaction, both sides normally and rationally EACH put their their own feelings and saftey (comfort level) FIRST, and then move forward to decide how much they can mutually consider the feeling of others.
If you cannot provide anything on a MUTUAL Level (care & concern, win-win situation, etc.) I would rather YOU be disappointed than ME, and so would YOU. There obviously must be other Solutions available along our Way.
What ever is EATING this Half-Assed Person, that obviously doesn't have any regard for anyone else's feelings or the lives that other people have going on, and they aren't doing anything or caring about their own lives, and in turn are interfering with the lives of others that refuse to be or think the same WAY is not YOUR PROBLEM - it is THEIRS because they aren't wanting SOLUTIONS.
People waste people's time all the Time, but when it INTERFERES with someone else's personal life and they clearly do not BELONG ~ that is when it becomes a serious issue.
What may be necessary for others to become more resilient in abusive or abrasive conflict with others is:
Assertiveness Training -to feel more confident in doing what you're supposed to be doing, in communicating effectively & being able to handle agreements & disagreements without being defensive or losing your objective thinking process,
Anger Management -to be capable of handling stress without losing control or direction in life, venting frustration without becoming unbalanced.
Self Defense -to allow you to avoid walking around with phobia or fear of not being able to defend yourself whenever necessary, what to DO in most cases, and be capable of differentiating a THREAT from a NON-THREAT, and when to use DEADLY FORCE.
To prevent freezing up and allowing things to "happen" to you that should not even be happening. You are in most of the CONTROL of what you decide is comfortable you. No one "else' is capable of telling you what YOU what YOU feel comfortable with or what is acceptable to you on a personal level. There shouldn't be pressure put onto someone else in that area- this indicates a CONTROL problem, & should definitely send up a Red Flag.
I need an Explanation for your Sense of Urgency concerning ANYTHING that makes me feel personally uncomfortable.
My feelings are as important to ME ~ as your feelings are to YOU.
I put my feelings FIRST before YOURS ~ just as YOU do as well.
An Objective Thinking Person can distinguish between:
A person that CARES - from a person that only cares about what they can get from you.
They know the difference between a person that cares ABOUT YOU, and not only about MANIPULATION.
They know the difference between someone that likes to see you going in a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER DIRECTION
People that CARE want SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS, they aren't making your problems WORSE, and they care about your FEELINGS
They have a level have a level of SENSITIVITY & RESPECT FOR YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES & YOUR FEELINGS - not just only about GETTING A RISE OUT OF YOU, a REACTION
Not about COMPARING YOUR PROBLEMS TO THEIRS to make themselves look BETTER than you. As if this is their Snowball's Chance at "seeming" like a better person to take less work involved in actually "being" one (which would have only required actually doing something or being something instead of the maintenance involved and the other props needed in "seeming").
These are ABUSIVE Relationships. You need to be ASSERTIVE and unafraid to put your life & your feelings FIRST! We all encounter them every day. People choose the level of involvement possible with others. No one is obligated to be someone's friend that isn't even caring ABOUT you and isn't playing a personal ROLE in your life.
When there is an interaction, both sides normally and rationally EACH put their their own feelings and saftey (comfort level) FIRST, and then move forward to decide how much they can mutually consider the feeling of others.
If you cannot provide anything on a MUTUAL Level (care & concern, win-win situation, etc.) I would rather YOU be disappointed than ME, and so would YOU. There obviously must be other Solutions available along our Way.
What ever is EATING this Half-Assed Person, that obviously doesn't have any regard for anyone else's feelings or the lives that other people have going on, and they aren't doing anything or caring about their own lives, and in turn are interfering with the lives of others that refuse to be or think the same WAY is not YOUR PROBLEM - it is THEIRS because they aren't wanting SOLUTIONS.
